


i dont wanna do this anymore

by 123FOURhowmanyniggersareinmystoreEENOOO



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, JER REGRETS HIS WHOLE FUDGKNF LIFE, M/M, Other, Rich Set A FIRE and michael died woAAAAHHH, basically Michael dies hope you all dont mind, fuck you acrhive of our own, im sorry, im sorry im horrible at tagging, michael regrets getting in the bathroom, michael tries to commit suicide in the bathroom but then the smoke starts closing in, suicide warning, what the fuck i got a suggestion called "Michael Is A Little Shit' while i was typing this, yeah yeah go read the fanfic already
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-08 04:13:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14096952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/123FOURhowmanyniggersareinmystoreEENOOO/pseuds/123FOURhowmanyniggersareinmystoreEENOOO
Summary: _great_ Michael thought to himself, Smiling like a maniac with tears rolling down his face... He plucked the huge one, looked at his arm and dragged the arm that had the shard near to the healthy oneHe cut himself





	1. i dont wanna do this anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Im so so so sorry guys : ' )

"Michael in the-" Michael gripped the bathroom wall, Eyes squeezed shut. "BATHROOM!" He screamed, Hitting his head on the bathroom wall very hard and kept hitting his own head until it started bleeding "by himself" he mumbled

*Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock*

"They're gonna start to shout soon!" Michael said to himself

*Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock*

"Oh HELL YAH I'll be out soon!" Michael said rubbing the blood flowing from his head with his sleeve, That was now bloody...

*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*

The knocking became louder AND LOUDER everytime Michael took a step "It sucks you left me here alone" Michael said, Probably meant to say that to Jeremy

*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*

"Here in this teenage battle zone" Michael said as his Anxiety started to kick in

*CLANG, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG*

"I feel the pressure blowing up" Michael said, grabbing his head and looking on the floor

*BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG*

Was there someone THAT DESPERATE to take a piss!? "My big mistake was showing up" Michael screamed regretting to come at Jake's 'Fun' Halloween Party, Michael spotted the tap

*SPLASH, SPLASH, SPLASH, SPLASH*

Michael threw some water in his face "I throw some water on my face, And I am in a better place" Michael looked at the mirror, seeing his reflection scared him, Bleeding Head, Messed Up Hair, Glasses not placed in the perfect spot, Dark Circles and Red, Puffy eyes...

He looked like a mess....

Michael tried to fix himself up, He tried to stop the bleeding, Comed his hair and Fixed his glasses.. But he couldn't do anything about the Dark Circles he could only make excuses such as 'I uh didn't sleep well' or 'some drink dripped in my eye' and give a nervous laugh

Michael went to open the door but the Knocking stopped 

...

...

...He can't take it anymore...

Michael looked in each and every cabinet to find something.. like a Rope, Pills, Knife etc. 

He wanted to so bad

'get out of my way loser'

The six words came up in Michaels mind again, Like the words popped out of nowhere..

'you know that you are my favourite person'

Fucking inronic 

Michael didn't believe those Positive Eight Words, He ignored them

_4 Minutes Later_

Michael didn't find anything, like NOTHING... "What the fuck?? Why didn't Jake kept at least a rope or something in here!? I mean he knew that a _loser_ like me would OBVIOUSLY deserve to die!" Michael yelled in slight anger in his voice

Guess he'll have to find a new way...

_THE MIRROR_ Michael thought to himself as he slowly walked near the mirror, Clenching his fists..

Broken shards of glass rained near Michaels feet

He PUNCHED the glass

The bruise in his knuckles were disgusting, Deep, Fresh Blood pouring out of them, The color Purple surrounding the damage..

_what the fuck..now i can't go outside for a second anymore now because of this bruise_ Michael scolded at himself, He plucked the shards one by one until he saw a huge shard

_great_ Michael thought to himself, Smiling like a maniac with tears rolling down his face... He plucked the huge one, looked at his arm and dragged the arm that had the shard near to the healthy one

He cut himself

He looked at his cuts for 3 Minutes..He was blankly staring at the cuts, His sparkly puppy eyes were gone.. there was no shine in them.. he looked so depressed he didn't know what to do! If he went outside he'd either be forced to go to therapy or people will make fun of him..it was the FIRST time he did this...

 

\--------------------------

Jeremy lost his Alcohol Effect and The SQUIP came back

"Jeremy, Do you even realize what you did?" The SQUIP scolded at Jeremy, The SQUIP knew what was happening in the bathroom

"Pssh what? Are you mad that I drank Alcohol to mess you up?" Jeremy said in a teasing way, Jeremy was basically teasing The SQUIP

"No no, The other thing" The SQUIP smiled in a evil-ish way

"Are you talking about how I cheated on Brooke with her BEST friend?" Jeremy asked, TOTALLY not teasing

The SQUIP cleared his throat "Michael" He said in a Gentle, Soothing and Musical voice

"What the fuck did I do to hi-" Jeremy's eyes widened

'get out of my way, loser'

The face his friend for TWELVE YEARS made would've been EXTREMELY Heartbreaking for Jeremy if he wasn't drunk

"W-w-w-where is he..A-a-a-and what is he doing" Jeremy's voice crackes

"You'd not want to know" The SQUIP shows what's happening in the bathroom right now... Michael was sitting on the bathroom floor staring at his arm

"W-w-w-why is he staring at his arm??"

The SQUIP shows why as Jeremy's eyes are slowly filling up with tearing then The SQUIP showed Michael's face and his Bruise

Jeremy rushed to the bathroom banging on the door 

Well this is new The SQUIP wasn't able to control Jeremy's brain because of all the courage he had to save his best friend before it's too late

Just then "FIRE!!" Everybody screamed, Jeremy turned around to see the whole house catching on fire.. Jeremy tried to kick open the door but failed

\--------------------------

Michael heard the constant banging and kicking but he didn't care, He knew whoever it was would stop banging after a while.

Michael laid down on the tub looking at the ceiling and shiny red and orange- wait Shiny Red and Orange!? Michael sat up just to see flames covering up the door, Now he knew why someone was bang- wait they were banging and kicking in panic this means... JEREMY... 

Michael stood up on the floor trying to reach the front door, He grabbed the handle and yelped, He forgot that metal is super hot when there's a fire or something... He didn't know what to do, He wanted to kill himself he didn't want to get burned alive!

"J-J-J-J-JE-ERM-M-Y!" Michael screamed, His voice was bitter

Meanwhile Jeremy was panicking just then Jake grabbed Jer's hand and dragged him outside

 

Michael was left to burn alive


	2. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He heard a sound.. A sound like falling to the grou- wait FALLING TO THE GROUND!? Jeremy kicked the door open to see Michael unconscious on the floor, There were glass shards one of them was bloody 'cause Michael cut himself with that one, The mirror broken, His arms bleeding, The bruise and The blood flowing from the head.. 
> 
> Jeremy fell down on his knees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very fast at making chapters > : ]

The knocking stopped

Michael didn't need to wonder why because if that REALLY was Jeremy he'd keep knocking or something..

'get out of my way loser'

The six words came again, Michael covered his ears..He didn't want to hear the words again, But his head won't stop replaying it! Michael then felt himself sweaty because of the heat, Michael uncovered his ears because there was no hope, He was gonna die with the six words replaying again and again... Michael felt something on his left arm sleeve "WHAT THE FUCK IS I-" He yelled because he was in panic, But what Michael saw on the sleeve was more terrifying than realising the bathroom was on fire...

His sleeve was now also on fire

Michael screamed as he quickly dragged his left arm sleeve away from him, Bad Luck came in.. Now Michael was coughing from the smoke. Wait why wasn't he coughing before!? Because he tried not to breath..

Michael didn't want this...

\---------------------------------

"LEAVE MY HAND DOUCHBAG!' Jeremy yelled at Jake

"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU EVEN DOING THERE IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM!?" Jake yelled at Jeremy, Jake was really worried about Jeremy when he wasn't outside, Jeremy then looked around to let himself know he's outside

"MY FRIEND IS IN THERE!" Jeremy scolded, Tears slowly rolling down

"But Christine is here, Man!" Jake pointed at Christine

"WELL SHE WASN'T WITH ME FOR TWELVE YEARS!" Jeremy literally screamed as he started to cry

"Wait do you mean Michael? The headphones kid?" Jake asked

Jeremy nodded, he wasn't able to speak because of his own crying

"Dude don't you know, This is time! If Michael dies you can be with Christine!" The SQUIP said in a very happy, cute and cheering voice

"I-i-i-i-i-i I don't need Christine, She wasn't my childhood friend after all!" He literally said that out loud purposely, Which shattered Christine's heart...

Everybody just then heard a scream coming straight from the bathroom window that was so small nobody can fit in, Only a cat can..

"M-MICHAEL!?" Jeremy yelled in panic, His head snapped to see the window..

"GOD RICH WHY DID YOU DO THAT, MAN!?" Jake yelled at Rich

"I-i-i-I'm s-so s-s-s-sorry" Rich's voice cracked, He was slightly squatting, He looked up at Jake for forgiveness with his kitty eyes, His head slightly down and He covered his mouth, Jake could never say no to Rich being THAT cute

"Fine just don't do that again okay?" Jake said in a calm voice

"O-okay" Rich mumbled

Jake turned around to see Jeremy dashing in that house again "J-JEREMY NO!" Jake screamed but Jeremy acted like he didn't listen 

 

\---------------------------------

Michael was terrified to see his sleeve burning to crisp, But it burned a lot on the cuts and bruise

_wait THE TAP!_ Michael remembered, He ran to the tap.. He knew it will burn his hand because it was metal too but he needed to.. He turned on the tap with his shaky hands, His skin on the palm was red now. He poured some water on the burning sleeve, IT WORKED! But knew the same wouldn't happen to the bathroom

Knocking started again

Michael started coughing a second before Jeremy started knocking, He tried to open the door but just then he remembered the damage he did to himself.. He didn't care, He just wanted to get out of here but before he reached the knob, his vision started fading..

"J-j-j-je-erm-em-y... H-h-h-he-e-el-p" His voice didn't find like his voice anymore. It sounded so weak..

"M-M-MICHAEL!?" Jeremy yelled, He was more panicking even more when he heard Michael's voice like that, He heard a sound.. A sound like falling to the grou- wait FALLING TO THE GROUND!? Jeremy kicked the door open to see Michael unconscious on the floor, There were glass shards one of them was bloody 'cause Michael cut himself with that one, The mirror broken, His arms bleeding, The bruise and The blood flowing from the head.. 

Jeremy fell down on his knees

He wasn't believing what he saw

It is a dream right?

Please let this be a dream

It wasn't a dream..His friend for twelve years was now gone, forever.. He picked Michael up and dragged him outside, Everybody was shocked to see someone that damaged

"OH MY GOD! That poor thing" Brooke was worried, she knew Jeremy loved Michael more than his life

"Call the doctor!" Jenna seemed kind of sarcastic, But she looked worried as well

Rich had no words to say..All he knew that he was gonna be charged for the death

Christine didn't say anything either

 

Jake dropped his phone, His eyes widened and His jaw dropped "WHAT THE FUCK!? OH MY GOD! NO!!" Jake screamed

But there was nothing they could do..

The Ambulance and Fire Bridgette arrived, The Ambulance took Michael..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kill me im so sorry xd


	3. i miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy and the others were in the waiting room, Everybody was thinking about what will happen next while Jeremy kept wishing for Michael to kick open the door yelling "MIKEY MAKES A ENTRANCE!" He wanted him to stay alive, He didn't live a full life, It ended on the age 18.. He had so much to live for but Jeremy ruined it...
> 
> The door was opening, Jeremy stood up, Hoping that it was Michael...But his hopes went down when he saw the Doctors face..Tbe Doctor seemed very terrified and sad. It gave Jeremy a fishy feeling
> 
> "I'm sorry Mrs. Mell and Mr. Mell and Michael Mell's other friends but now.. He's no more"
> 
> Jeremy's eyes were more wide than black holes. He ruined everything, It's all his fucking fault that Michael's gone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JEREMY...I FORGIVE YOU

Jeremy was with Michael in the car the whole time, The others were going in Jake's car I mean obviously Jake was driving it! "I'm so so so so SO sorry, I wish I never took that offer from Rich..I wish I never came to the party..I wish I could turn back time to where we were happy without...but now I fucking can't" Jeremy said to Michael, There was no response.. Jeremy didn't except a answer anyway, Because if Michael was okay he'd not forgive him anyway..

They reached the hospital

Michael's parents where there before Jeremy and the others came, His mom was crying and His dad had a pitiful look

The room Michael was in the Room 420, Jeremy chose that for Michael since it was the only room empty.

Jeremy and the others were in the waiting room, Everybody was thinking about what will happen next while Jeremy kept wishing for Michael to kick open the door yelling "MIKEY MAKES A ENTRANCE!" He wanted him to stay alive, He didn't live a full life, It ended on the age 18.. He had so much to live for but Jeremy ruined it...

The door was opening, Jeremy stood up, Hoping that it was Michael...But his hopes went down when he saw the Doctors face.. The Doctor seemed very terrified and sad. It gave Jeremy a fishy feeling

"I'm sorry Mrs. Mell and Mr. Mell and Michael Mell's other friends but now.. He's no more"

Jeremy's eyes were more wide than black holes. He ruined everything, It's all his fucking fault that Michael's gone... Everybody went in to see Michael for the last time, There were bandages on his head, Arms and His Hand he was burnt the "CREEPS" shirt didn't even look like it anymore... Jeremy started sobbing uncontrollably "THIS IS NOT THE REALITY! T-THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!!" Jeremy screamed "Jeremy wake up, wake up" Jeremy mumbled to himself, But again. It wasn't a dream

Rich tried to comfort him by hugging Jer, It was all Rich's fault

"I hate you" Rich said to his SQUIP

"You asked to be popular also you were drunk I wasn't doing anything it was all you" Evil Kermit, Rich's SQUIP said without emotion

Rich started sobbing with Jeremy  
Jake had the urge to cry but he tried to be strong  
Brooke had her mouth covered with her both hands  
Jenna was crying  
Christine covered her eyes, she wasn't able to see everyone cry  
Mrs. Mell started hugging Mr. Mell crying painfully  
Mr. Mell also started crying

_2 days later_

Jeremy still didn't went to school..He didn't had the energy to...He didn't want to..School won't help with the grief anyway

Jeremy felt himself getting shaked

"D-d-dad?" Jeremy asked

"Jeremy, You haven't went to school for 2 days.. Your friends might be worried" Jeremy's Dad said with a pitiful voice Jeremy couldn't see his Dad like that, Guess what? He has to go to school now, The funeral is tomorrow. He fixed himself a bit, He went to school without taking a shower, Gross but he doesn't care.

"Guys! Look he's back!!" Jake looked at Jeremy, Immediately cheering up

"Dude I'm sorry, I want to ask something...Do you forgive me?" Rich asks

"Yes" Jeremy said as he gave a Fake Smile

"Heheh thanks" Rich was giving a Fake Smile too

"Are you okay Jeremy!?" Brooke asked, She was genuinely worried

"Jeremy we're HEERE with you okay" Jenna made a joke of Jeremy's surname again! Jenna sticked out her tounge with her left eye closed

Jeremy gave a short laugh

"Are you okay Jerry?" Christine asked

"Yeah" Jeremy responded

 

Jeremy wasn't okay...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gimme my m&m's


	4. self hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy fell onto Michaels bed, He wanted to cry so bad, And he did! He hugged Michaels pillow and started sobbing grossly, Why couldn't he turn back time or something..? Why did Michael do this? Oh yeah! It was all The SQUIPs fault.
> 
> He saw something on Michaels desk, A folded paper? And a Drawer with a paper sticked to it, The paper said 'Do Not Open' because of the paer saying to not open Jeremy got the urge to open it, He opened it and what he saw made his eyes fill up with tears, A rope, A paper, A pencil, and a photo of Michael and Jeremy, Michael separated the Michael and Jeremy in the photo by tearing it apart,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay jeremys squip is back on this chapter
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> okay?

The way he saw Michael in the bathroom kept coming up in his head, Jeremy wanted it to stop "Jeremy you twat, You can love Christine now why are you caring about the gay loser that died?" Jeremys stupid SQUIP said "fuck you" Jeremy mumbled to The SQUIP just then Jeremy remembered something

"IIIIIIIII NNEEEEEEEEDD MOUTAAAAAAIN DEEEEWW REEEEEEEEED"

Mountain Dew Red? This means it shuts the SQUIP off and Michael had like Crystal Pepsi AND Mountain Dew Red

Jeremy ran to Michaels house

There was nobody there, Michaels Mom and Dad left the house because they kept getting a lonely feeling because Michaels Mom was used to smelling Weed coming from Michaels room, The LOUD as fuck Video Game sounds, Michael screaming because Michael was scared of spiders and there were a lot in Michaels house, His Dad was used to Michael reminding him about his birthday everytime it's near

Jeremy was used to it too

Jeremy was so emotionally afraid of the silence in Michaels house literally it was the FIRST TIME there was silence in Michaels house, Jeremy walked to the fridge, There wasn't only Mountain Dew Red and Crystal Pepsi there were also Slushies, Michael and Jeremys favourite.

Jeremy eyes didn't went away from those Slushies, He wanted to cry so bad because he did this to Michael and his Parents.

Jeremy took the Mountain Dew Red, He didn't want to leave the house he wanted to stay.

Jeremy didn't notice his hand that had Mountain Dew Red getting closer to his mouth, Jeremy had an addiction to looking at a great scenario or something while drinking something.

He drank the MTN Dew Red.

Jeremy started screaming, It hurted bad, He fainted.

_3 minutes later_

Jeremy woke up.

He wasn't in a bed, He didn't saw Michael jumping up from his chair so happy because Jeremy woke up, He was on the floor.

Jeremy knew Rich would've screamed too because he had a SQUIP too, He was too tired to care.

Jeremy went to Michaels room, The video games Jeremy and Michael played weren't moved or anything, They were in the same spot.

Jeremy tried to ignore Jeremy and Michaels favourite game.. "Apocalypse Of The Damned" Did they ever pass Level 9? Jeremy checked if They reached Level 10 or something... They were still at Level 9 

"Just wait two years we're upon"

Those two years never came, Even if they came, Jeremys favourite person wouldn't be there to play Level 10 with eachother.

"Is it really true I'm your Favvvwiote pewson~~?"

God damnit Michael sounded so adorable when he said that, Why is he hearing Michaels words? Why is he hearing stuff?

Jeremy fell onto Michaels bed, He wanted to cry so bad, And he did! He hugged Michaels pillow and started sobbing grossly, Why couldn't he turn back time or something..? Why did Michael do this? Oh yeah! It was all The SQUIPs fault.

He saw something on Michaels desk, A folded paper? And a Drawer with a paper sticked to it, The paper said 'Do Not Open' because of the paper saying to not open Jeremy got the urge to open it, He opened it and what he saw made his eyes fill up with tears, A rope, A paper, A pencil, and a photo of Michael and Jeremy, Michael separated the Michael and Jeremy in the photo by tearing it apart,

 

Wait this means that the folded paper is a note! Jeremy was too afraid to unfold it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JEREMYINTHEBATHROOMBYHIMSEEEEEEEELLLFFFALLBYHIMSEEEEEEEEEEELLLLFFFF


	5. Michaels Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy had no other choice, He took the note and unfolded it..
> 
> He knew it would be a sad note but he still cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is from DDLC the credits are in the end notes : )

Jeremy had no other choice, He took the note and unfolded it..

He knew it would be a sad note but he still cried

"Everyday, I imagine a future where I can be with Jer.. In my head, Plays mental pictures of Me and Jer... My tears flow down into a clear puddle, Just take the key! Unlock the way into his heart! But when you got The SQUIP and Christine, What will it take just to find that special day, What will it take...Just to find...That special day.... Have I found Jeremy a fun game to play? When the others say Jer's a loser ain't fun for me anyway, When I can't even read my own feelings, What good are words? When a Fake Smile says it all, And if this world won't give me an ending, What will it take for me to end it all....? Does my head.. Only play the six words Jer said to me? Is it love..? If I take you or is it love if I let you be? My tears flow down into a clear puddle, How can I make love into reality? If I can't hear the sound of your heartbeat, What do you call? Love in your reality, And in your reality, If I don't know how to love you...

 

 

I'll leave you alone.  
5/12/18"

(I don't know the date when Jeremy said Michaels a loser okay?)

Jeremy didn't notice he was sobbing again until he finished reading, If The SQUIP wasn't a fucking CPU, Jeremy would've killed The SQUIP but he fucking can't, He wanted to turn back time, But again he can't...

Jeremy goes back to his house

"Welcome home! Jeremy!" Jeremys dad said so cheerfully, It reminded him of Michael.. "Dad.." Jeremy said quietly "Yes Jeremy?" Surprisingly, Jeremys dad heard it, Jeremy handed his dad the Note "Michaels Suicide Note.. Show it to all of my friends..." Jeremy again said quietly

His Dad actually did

_Next Day_

Jake, Brooke, Chloe, Jenna, Rich, Jeremy, Christine and Michaels Parents were at the funeral

His mom was still crying

Jeremy was the first one to give a speech

"Michael, Michael Mell, My Boy- I MEAN Best Friend for Twelve Years has died because of a fire and suicide" Everybody kind of laughed at the part where Jeremy was accidentally gonna say Boyfriend but the laughing did stop after he corrected himself, It was a long speech, Jeremy decided to make it longer. "Also everybody, Here's Michaels note" Jeremy started singing it instead, He did sing it quite good but the most great part was that it wasn't Pop Song tune it was a calming tune

Jeremy made everyone happy there, Finally he did a good thing instead of making a mistake again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song that I used for the note - Your Reality - Doki Doki Literature Club!
> 
> : ' )
> 
> (Also I will use Rich Text after this fanfic)
> 
> (Also surprise this fanfic ended no more chapters sorry > : ) )
> 
> Also sorry this chapter is shorter than the others!

**Author's Note:**

> Michael and Rich are the only cinnamon rolls in the whole musical


End file.
